Razor witted Robyn Christi of Things and Stuff recently penned an expose’ entitled “Why It’s o.k. to Hate Festivals” Actually, it’s a list but either way, seemingly is timeless.
Many Years ago, I attended the Glastonbury Music Festival, and with the exception of overpriced water bottles which didn’t exist, the greater likelihood of being hit in the head by a cup of wee rather than a bottle, and the fact that at 16 quid it seemed a good way to spend three days in the sun with “beautiful people;” UK music festivals apparently haven’t changed much.
My recollections include:
- rain
- two long damp motor coach rides
- mud
- sleeping in a cesspool of water
- three people in a two person tent
- slop
- public and semi-public urination
- more rain
- horrible and expensive festival fare
- throngs of people
- umbrellas
- lousy dressers and interesting characters
- 50 bands (three of which I had heard of and none of which I should have cared enough about to spend three days in the muck for)
- the smell of fried food and excrement
- stoned to stupid folks all about
- a souvenir T-shirt that would have made a sheep itch
- ooze and more ooze.
Except for rain, mud and wet bodies I don’t remember being able to see much of anything. Although I wouldn’t trade the experience, I certainly wouldn’t knowingly do it again. However, despite the photos below, I have exercised neither a personal nor permanent ban on festivals,….
Glastonbury 30 years ago.
Binoculars would have been helpful…or perhaps a hat?
F minus in parenting…good grief.
Check out the facilities (top row, second from right) and proof below at least one person had fun.
… post Glatonbury, I have developed my own personal festival guide:
- If rain is coming, I’m not going
- If the tent is not large enough to stand in, don’t bother taking it
- I am willing to wee in a plastic structure, but always take spare squares just in case
- I will not spend more time in a plastic structure than I can hold my breath, even if they are well maintained and strategically positioned
- Except for beer, avoid all food served from a truck
- Sunscreen and insect repellent required even if neither sun, nor insects are expected
- Help those around you with tent set up and you will have a friend; help them take it down and you will have a friend for life (provided one doesn’t spend the entire day drinking beer out of the side of a truck)
- If the lineup promises to be an excuse for the stoned and stupid, it will probably live up to its promise and therefore should be avoided
- Always bring a spare pair of socks and clean T for the drive home
- If you don’t buy a souvenir, you will wish you had, so buy early lest they run out.
Note the solitary balance, the neatly cut grass, and the sink for spritzing up.
Acceptable food service from a truck.
Proper tents.
Nice to be able to get close up.
Thanks for reading this. Come back and visit. OTTOOH.
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