Category Archives: politics

Rude Sandwich

Standard

rude-people-e1480346259748

In the waning hours of the holiday season, we decided to squeeze in one last activity by heading out in the pouring rain for a matinee showing of The Accountant.  Perfect rainy day activity but ultimately a bit more interactive than I anticipated.

I drop my wife off in front so she could avoid the rain and get tickets. I then wade off to find a spot in the crowded parking lot to dock my vehicle.  50 yards from the theater, I wedge in between two other U-boats; but before I step into the monsoon I get a txt from my wife advising to skip the line and just find us a seat in the theater.  She notices there are no ticket takers, and with 5 minutes to the show if one of us doesn’t grab seats we may be watching the movie with our necks at a 90 degree angle to our bodies.

She’s not kidding.  The lobby is wall to wall-to-wall wet wool and bad breath.  I serpentine through the lobby masses and head for the entrance to our theater.

Somehow on my way in, I get sandwiched between three larger than life characters (husband/wife/child).  The woman in front of me is unaware I have slipped in front of her husband and is narrating her thoughts on seat selection at full volume.  Clearly thinking hubby is right on her heals and having selected her preferred row she barks, “How ’bout this one?”   At the same time she wheels around and finds herself face to face, with me.  Apparently she thinks I am a big white ghost because she lets out a, shriek, then immediately breaks into this humongous HAW HAW HAW when she realizes she has been blabbering absentmindedly to a total stranger.  She and I do this little dance in the aisle, and I step into the row immediately in front of her selected row.  BIG MISTAKE.

Anyway, the woman, her husband, young daughter (I’m guessing about aged 8 – in an R rated movie??), tub of popcorn, large drinks and assorted luggage sit behind me and continue their conversation through the previews.   I put my wet umbrella in the cup holder of the seat next to me and a minute later my wife lands.

A man and woman in front of me are also working through a large vat of popcorn but not 5 minutes into the previews, the man gets up and heads for the snack bar.  He returns as the opening scene appears on the screen and I miss the set up for the movie.  He then proceeds to sit (thankfully), pauses briefly before tearing into a grocery store size bag of something.

Could have been candy.  Could of been Calamari. But whatever it was, it was two hours of crinkly loud.  Like nails on a chalkboard, how someone could occupy themselves with a bag of such volume is unimaginable.

Now this is no spoiler, but The Accountant is about a high functioning man with Autism who is also a trained killer.  As you might surmise, the movie builds around the eccentricities of this unlikely combination of behaviors.   Pretty much every time the Accountant mumbles some inappropriate comment or puts a bullet in some nasty guy’s head, the trifecta behind me bursts forth with hearty HAW HAW HAWS,  MYUCK MYUCK, MYUCKS, and HONK HONK HONKS.  Even the eight year old.  Between the inappropriate comments, head bullets, and GUFFAWS there is the occasional “jump out of the closet/big white ghost” scene met withheld now familiar womanly shriek followed immediatley by a stereophonic MYUCK MYUCK, MYUCK, and HONK HONK HONK.  Oh, and of course there is the ringing cell phone during the final head/bullet scene.  She answers it of course.

Between the the incessant CRINKLE, CRINKLE, CRINKLE and HAW HAW HAW,  MYUCK MYUCK, MYUCK, HONK HONK HONK, I feel a bit like week-old turkey in a rude sandwich.   To say the rain must have driven all the rats out of the sewers would be a huge overstatement, but I have to chuckle at the world in which we live today.

A few additional thoughts:

  1.  The Accountant is worth seeing in the theater or in home.
  2. Next time I choose the long ticket line over seat selection.
  3. “All you had to do was pick a freaking decent seat and you picked the two between the Three Stooges and Willy f’ing Wonka.” (reprimand from my wife)
  4. When I get a little uptight.  I write.
  5. If I put the words, “Donald Trump” in my blog post will I get more views?
Advertisements

My Six Word Assessment of Last Night’s Debate

Standard

What I Saw:

donald-trump-hillary-clinton-debate

What I heard:

                 TRUMP                                                                    CLINTON

Click on the names above to hear what I heard

(After 22 minutes my brain melted down and I turned it off)

Hot Dog for President 2016

Standard

tumblr_nrt1y4nwrd1tpwxujo1_400

Ladies and Gentlemen, esteemed fellow Americans, please allow me the honor of introducing our highly respected candidate. He has certainly changed my life and, hopefully, yours as well. Please give a warm welcome to Hot Dog, running for President in 2016!

Our beloved Hot Dog has been a household name throughout Americans’ lives, a crowd favorite of all ages. He is adored by children, respected by their parents, and lauded by our older generations. His influence can be found across the globe, and he truly touches the lives of everyone he meets.

Now, I know what you’re thinking. Although Hot Dog had a fiery, grassroots start to his career, he acknowledges that in recent years his inner character has been called into question. Leaders of other parties have been known to call him “toxic,” and “flimsy,” questioning “what he’s made of” and asking “how we know what’s truly behind that lovable exterior?” They’ve accused him of inspiring gluttony and excess throughout America, for giving our country a collective stomach ache with his deception, and now, for being a “poor man’s alternative to more qualified candidates.”

Hot Dog does not shy away from these questions and concerns. Throughout all of this negativity, Hot Dog has stood strong and proud, saying, “While I cannot alter where I came from, I can certainly change where I’m heading!” He has rallied, taking the high road by fiercely supporting all types of Americans. He proudly and publicly explored his faith, making more devout choice by becoming kosher, made environmentalism part of his standard “packaging,” and even became the face of the vegetarian and vegan cause. He has encouraged us to make healthier, more informed choices. He has put his own industry under close scrutiny, forcing it to raise their standards to improve life for all Americans. As the United States have changed and progressed, he has changed and progressed with it.

So let’s rally behind what we know to be truly important, America: Hot Dog is an “everyman.” He is not merely a politician, he is an American icon. He is just as comfortable dressed to the nines as he is at a baseball game. He’s the type of man you would be proud to bring to family gatherings, to tailgates, to your child’s graduation. He has seen struggle, he has been through scrutiny, and he has evolved and changed throughout our lives. Most importantly, he has always been there when we truly need him.

A vote for Hot Dog is a vote for the future of the United States of America!

 

If The “Rich” Pay More, Will My Morale Be Improved?

Standard

As a Federal Income Tax paying American, I do not know whether my morale would be improved if the “rich” are required to pay more.  But I do know my morale would be improved if EVERYONE was required to pay something.

And by the way, if I pay Federal Income Tax, does that make me a de facto member of the middle class??

 

Man Up Obama.

Standard

It is my observation that individuals who do not take responsibility, tend to have been in positions in their lives for which little responsibility has been required. 

Blame is something generally heaped on others whereas responsibility is something generally heaped upon oneself.  Blame is about dumping.  Responsibility is about seizing.  Blame is about taking care of oneself.  Responsibility is about taking care of others.  Blame is selfish.  Responsibility is selfless.

I have to say I am getting a bit weary of our President pointing the finger of blame.  Everyone knows that all the problems of America are not his fault.  Even if he didn’t remind us at every bend in the road.

 Do you think the President’s focus on blame is a function of his past?  A past in which he has had to take little responsibility?  

One of the big knocks on him during his campaign was his inexperience and how that might affect his ability to lead.   I think for the President, the first step in his quest to become a great leader is to yank the reins of responsibility.

The job’s not easy.  But didn’t anyone tell him that when he campaigned like a bad assed champion to get it?  When it comes to great leadership nobody cares who caused the problems.  They only care about the person willing to take responsibility, the person who will seize responsibility and get ‘em fixed.

…From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked”  Luke 12:48 (NIV)

Or if that does not compute, two words: Man Up!

Thoughts on Light Rail. Logical Mr. Spock?

Standard

Not even in a 1960’s sci-fi television show.  Or should I say, “logical Mr. Barack?”

I would be the first person to admit, that I’m not the sharpest knife in the drer; Pancil in the pack; tool in the shaid; brightest bub in the lamp; you get the drift… but I can’t for the life of me figure out this light rail boondoggle I heard about the other night when I was flipping between the State of the Union address and the Hispanic Shopping Channel.

I live in Atlanta, Georgia where we have this little transportation outfit called MARTA which began rail service back in the 1970s; and which I think may still be operating from a 1970s strategic plan.  It is a government operation, and I’m pretty sure it has never been able to pay for itself through pure ridership, advertising, or pay toilets (if they have any). 

Last night, having arrived home from Newark, NJ, I headed to the MARTA station to catch the train home.   I waited 20 minutes in a dark dreary station for it to show up and then leave the station, was ithen nformed that I would have to transfer trains due to a reduced evening schedule, was pan handled on two separate occasions whilst snuggled up with about 100 bedraggled  strangers, and was ultimately deposited in another dreary station.   I was not left scratching my head as to some of the reasons why it is fiscally challenged. 

 I did notice a sign that said they were having a public meeting to solicit ideas on how to address some of their issues, and I could only imagine who might schlep down to their offices for that meeting to help solve all its problems.   My advice, “Go LOOK in the mirror people!” 

The problem with Mr. Obama and his Starfleet Command is their government approach to government.   Don’t you think that if some smart company or investor thought for a minute they could make a buck off of light rail, they wouldn’t have done it already??  Warren Buffet could scratch a check in a heartbeat if thought it was viable and add that to his choo choo collection.

I read that Obama wants to drop $8-$13 Billion to fund high-speed light rail, and I’m thinking for my family of 4 we spend $3,000 per year on a high deductible health plan with an HSA which includes well care.   A little quick math and I’m figuring $8B could cover the health care nut for about  2.6 million families or over 10 million lives.  Now, I’m not proposing the government buy health insurance for 10 million people; there are just better ways to piss away my borrowed tax dollars.

Obama’s government approach to government is kind of like when your mamma gives your kid a $100 gift card to Wal-Mart, and your kid promptly goes and blows it on $100 worth of Yugioh cards.  He then trys to convince you it’s a good investment!  The purchase feels pretty good for about 5 minutes and then the reality of stupidity begins to set in.  The only difference with government is that it can even rationalize reality.

Here’s an idea.  How about a little bit of Un-Government?  Now there’s a little change I could believe in.  If President Obama could grasp that concept, who knows where he could lead this country?  That might even be statue-worthy.  Definitely a cut above and installation at Madame Tussauds.

So what about this light rail thing?  Maybe I am living in a cocoon with my only perspective being a local public transportation system that has given me a jaded perspective.  But I don’t think I’m off by much.   Change?  My butt!  Simply a government approach to government.  Do you smell something funny?

Light Skinned American With No Negro Dialect Except When I Want To

Standard

Just for the record; I am a light-skinned American with no Negro dialect except when I want to.  Although that fact, I don’t think, would help me in any sort of election.  In fact, I would suggest I am woefully unelectable.  About the only thing I’ve been elected for lately is jury duty, and I am not sure if that was an election or more of a selection. 

Our jury foreman was a dark-skinned  African-American man with a multi-cultural dialect.  I would describe it as a Negro, Black, African-American, Georgian dialect.   The point being, that he was elected, neither because of the color of his skin nor whatever the heck his dialect was, but because in the eyes of 11 other multi-dialect voters sitting around a table, he seemed to be a respectable guy, capable of managing a process, and articulating our decision.  In short, he was qualified. 

I don’t consider myself a particularly enlightened individual, although I have dropped a decent amount of weight over the past few years.  For a little heavy enlightenment on light skinned comments with  a light-hearted delivery,  I highly recommend Polite Society’s post,  “Negro Dialect?”

As for Harry Reid, I can certainly forgive him for his stupid comment, and I pray for forgiveness for the river of stupidity that gushes from my mouth pretty much anytime I open it.  I can also thank him for helping Polite Society to enlighten me.  I would also be thankful if Uncle Harry’s foot in mouth disease is miraculously cured with a one way ticket back to Nevada.