Why Your First Grown Up Job Feels Like A Do Over of Kindergarten

Standard

  1. You want to take a nap. Literally all the time. But you do NOT want to admit it, lest your peers think you’re that new girl who’s still a baby.
  2.  You feel uncomfortable and weird in your new uniform…what do you mean I can’t wear my overalls and my keds and my hot pink socks?! I need to EXPRESS myself, people!  Who decided to constrain my delightful personality in this miserable manner?!
  3. You are awkward and shy making friends, frequently blanking on people’s names and panicking over lack of conversation topics. Your mom says give it time. You’re not sure you believe her
  4.  Speaking of which, you want your Mommy WAY more than you expected. What gives, self? You thought you were a big kid, done with those needy shenanigans! Why is it so hard to put on your big girl panties and figure it out yourself?!
  5.  You find yourself spacing out from having to sit still all the time. I’m sorry but a girl needs to wiggle. Holding someone at a desk for this long should be illegal! When’s recess??
  6.  You find yourself going to the bathroom a lot just to have something to do.
  7.   You eagerly await holidays, constantly ticking down days, hours, minutes, seconds until you can’t hardly stand it anymore and JUST want to go see your cousins in Florida. After all, they have the cool Nintendo.
  8. You find that people don’t like it and get upset when you say “Why?” after they ask you to do something, even though you genuinely just wanted to know why! You’re not being sassy, you’re just a curious little cat!
  9. You find yourself starting to use the lingo of your peers. It’s as if your subconscious believes that using the hip slang will help you make like a chameleon and blend in seamlessly, when all it actually does is sound bizarre coming out of your mouth and making you blend no better than a giraffe standing awkward and tall in amidst many elephants.
  10.  Writing with a Gelly Roll pen makes everything much more fun, but you realize people don’t take very kindly when you turn in reports written in pink glitter ink. Weird.
  11. Ditto for scented markers.
  12. Snack time is hands down the best part of your day. Every.single.time.
  13. You find it very difficult to understand why breaking out into a rousing round of “Put the Lime in the Coconut” is neither tolerated nor amusing to your peers. And they never sing with you. Who ARE these people??
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