Love Is A New Diswasher

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This morning I found myself at work being paid to read dishwasher reviews.  Like I am the Maytag repairman or something.  Can you imagine? I’m just gonna laugh that one all the way to the bank.

One review in particular caught my eye… I couldn’t help but wonder what this guy’s wife was thinking.  Grammar aside; first it made me giggle, then it made me wonder….

“I bought this for my wife for “12 Xmas. I bought it unseen as a replacement due to a delivery date mixup and I couldn’t be happier. It’s not a large capacity unit but it’s fine fort he two of us and the occasional dinner with friends. Honestly, I’ve never seen our glasses so CLEAN & SHINY. The top controls are simple & easy to understand and glow a sweet green. I’m lovin’ the stainless steel tub, front & handle but most of all the way this thing is built. When I close the door..THUMP..it’s closed. Just like a solid sedan. When it’s doing it’s thing it’s QUIET..I mean REAL QUIET. We can barely hear it running from 6 feet away”

With this exotic new relationship in his life, I wonder how the diswasher made his wife feel?

Was she:

  • Happy because she no longer has to deal with any dishes because he’s all over them?
  • Happy because the dishes are so CLEAN AND SHINY?
  • Happy because he loves it so much he stays out of her hair so she can watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer reruns on the TV?
  • Happy because now he is willing to invite friends over for dinner and NOT make her wash the dishes?
  • Happy because it is so quiet he will now listen to her when she is speaking?
  • Happy because the controls are “so simple and easy to understand” that he no longer floods their apartment every night?
  • Happy because he has finally stopped referring to her as “his solid sedan?”

OR was she:

  • Pissed because it is so quiet she now has to listen to his going on and on about sports (or the dishwasher).
  • Pissed because she now has to entertain “friends” for dinner?
  • Pissed because now he has abandoned helping at all with the dishes and she has developed back problems from constantly loading and unloading?
  • Pissed because she thought she was getting a freakin’ diamond and this isn’t the 1950’s….what kind of gift is a dishwasher?!
  • Pissed because her husband spent more time writing a dishwasher review than he did writing his wedding vows.
  • Pissed because the stainless steel doesn’t match ANY of the rest of their appliances and now she’s stuck with the damn thing?
  • Pissed because now he’s “lovin’ the stainless steel tub” so much, now he wants to replace the claw hammered tub in their master bath with one?

This man oh so LOVES this dishwasher. Like….move over wife he’s marrying the appliance! Grrrrrrr….

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