Festival Nirvana

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Razor witted Robyn Christi of Things and Stuff recently penned an expose’ entitled “Why It’s o.k. to Hate Festivals” Actually, it’s a list but either way, seemingly is timeless.

Many Years ago, I attended the Glastonbury Music Festival, and with the exception of overpriced water bottles which didn’t exist, the greater likelihood of being hit in the head by a cup of wee rather than a bottle, and the fact that at 16 quid it seemed a good way to spend three  days in the sun with “beautiful people;” UK music festivals apparently haven’t changed much.

My recollections include:

  • rain
  • two long damp motor coach rides
  • mud
  • sleeping in a cesspool of water
  • three people in a two person tent
  • slop
  • public and semi-public urination
  • more rain
  • horrible and expensive festival fare
  • throngs of people
  • umbrellas
  • lousy dressers and interesting characters
  • 50 bands (three of which I had heard of and none of which I should have cared enough about to spend three days in the muck for)
  • the smell of fried food and excrement
  • stoned to stupid folks all about
  • a souvenir T-shirt that would have made a sheep itch
  • ooze and more ooze.

Except for rain, mud and wet bodies I don’t remember being able to see much of anything.  Although I wouldn’t trade the experience, I certainly wouldn’t knowingly do it again.  However, despite the photos below, I have exercised neither a personal nor permanent ban on festivals,….

DSCN0432Glastonbury 30 years ago.

  DSCN0410DSCN0411

Binoculars would have been helpful…or perhaps a hat?

DSCN0426

F minus in parenting…good grief.

DSCN0419

Check out the facilities (top row, second from right) and proof below at least one person had fun.

DSCN0417

… post Glatonbury, I have developed my own personal festival guide:

  1. If rain is coming, I’m not going
  2. If the tent is not large enough to stand in, don’t bother taking it
  3. I am willing to wee in a plastic structure, but always take spare squares just in case
  4. I will not spend more time in a plastic structure than I can hold my breath, even if they are well maintained and strategically positioned
  5. Except for beer, avoid all food served from a truck
  6. Sunscreen and insect repellent required even if neither sun, nor insects are expected
  7. Help those around you with tent set up and you will have a friend; help them take it down and you will have a friend for life (provided one doesn’t spend the entire day drinking beer out of the side of a truck)
  8. If the lineup promises to be an excuse for the stoned and stupid, it will probably live up to its promise and therefore should be avoided
  9. Always bring a spare pair of socks and clean T for the drive home
  10. If you don’t buy a souvenir, you will wish you had, so buy early lest they run out.

Note the solitary balance, the neatly cut grass, and the sink for spritzing up.

Acceptable food service from a truck.

Proper tents.

Nice to be able to get close up.

Thanks for reading this.  Come back and visit.  OTTOOH.

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