I had no idea what was soon to beset me.

This weekend I had to opportunity to go see the musical “110 in the Shade.”  A play, that looks at the day in the life of a town suffering through a miserable drought in the early part of last century.   It was a pretty good play, but the smell of skunk Bear Grylls had to endure, had nothing on the waft that beseeched my family as we sat there attempting to enjoy the play.    I have never smelled anything so gag inducing as the road kill breath that periodically drifted into our personal airspace.  It was so bad, that every few moments I found myself gagging and my face contorting to disfigurement that would make Jim Carey proud.  My body was convulsing in obvious distress.  I’m not sure if a pallet of Tic Tacs could have cut the bite of that breath.

I’m sitting there thinking in between convulsions, that roadkill baking in the road in the 110 heat of some hot Texas highway had nothing on that breath.  Then I was wondering if maybe a possum had died, and someone had flung it under my seat.  It was all I could do not to retch and vomit.

We had great seats, but at the first intermission we happily downgraded our seats to get away from that vile smell.   While the first act was certainly breathtaking, the second, undistracted, was far more breathmaking.

Blame is something generally heaped on others whereas responsibility is something generally heaped upon oneself.  Blame is about dumping.  Responsibility is about seizing.  Blame is about taking care of oneself.  Responsibility is about taking care of others.  Blame is selfish.  Responsibility is selfless.

I have to say I am getting a bit weary of our President pointing the finger of blame.  Everyone knows that all the problems of America are not his fault.  Even if he didn’t remind us at every bend in the road.

 Do you think the President’s focus on blame is a function of his past?  A past in which he has had to take little responsibility?  

One of the big knocks on him during his campaign was his inexperience and how that might affect his ability to lead.   I think for the President, the first step in his quest to become a great leader is to yank the reins of responsibility.

The job’s not easy.  But didn’t anyone tell him that when he campaigned like a bad assed champion to get it?  When it comes to great leadership nobody cares who caused the problems.  They only care about the person willing to take responsibility, the person who will seize responsibility and get ‘em fixed.

…From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked”  Luke 12:48 (NIV)

Or if that does not compute, two words: Man Up!

I would be the first person to admit, that I’m not the sharpest knife in the drer; Pancil in the pack; tool in the shaid; brightest bub in the lamp; you get the drift… but I can’t for the life of me figure out this light rail boondoggle I heard about the other night when I was flipping between the State of the Union address and the Hispanic Shopping Channel.

I live in Atlanta, Georgia where we have this little transportation outfit called MARTA which began rail service back in the 1970s; and which I think may still be operating from a 1970s strategic plan.  It is a government operation, and I’m pretty sure it has never been able to pay for itself through pure ridership, advertising, or pay toilets (if they have any). 

Last night, having arrived home from Newark, NJ, I headed to the MARTA station to catch the train home.   I waited 20 minutes in a dark dreary station for it to show up and then leave the station, was ithen nformed that I would have to transfer trains due to a reduced evening schedule, was pan handled on two separate occasions whilst snuggled up with about 100 bedraggled  strangers, and was ultimately deposited in another dreary station.   I was not left scratching my head as to some of the reasons why it is fiscally challenged. 

 I did notice a sign that said they were having a public meeting to solicit ideas on how to address some of their issues, and I could only imagine who might schlep down to their offices for that meeting to help solve all its problems.   My advice, “Go LOOK in the mirror people!” 

The problem with Mr. Obama and his Starfleet Command is their government approach to government.   Don’t you think that if some smart company or investor thought for a minute they could make a buck off of light rail, they wouldn’t have done it already??  Warren Buffet could scratch a check in a heartbeat if thought it was viable and add that to his choo choo collection.

I read that Obama wants to drop $8-$13 Billion to fund high-speed light rail, and I’m thinking for my family of 4 we spend $3,000 per year on a high deductible health plan with an HSA which includes well care.   A little quick math and I’m figuring $8B could cover the health care nut for about  2.6 million families or over 10 million lives.  Now, I’m not proposing the government buy health insurance for 10 million people; there are just better ways to piss away my borrowed tax dollars.

Obama’s government approach to government is kind of like when your mamma gives your kid a $100 gift card to Wal-Mart, and your kid promptly goes and blows it on $100 worth of Yugioh cards.  He then trys to convince you it’s a good investment!  The purchase feels pretty good for about 5 minutes and then the reality of stupidity begins to set in.  The only difference with government is that it can even rationalize reality.

Here’s an idea.  How about a little bit of Un-Government?  Now there’s a little change I could believe in.  If President Obama could grasp that concept, who knows where he could lead this country?  That might even be statue-worthy.  Definitely a cut above and installation at Madame Tussauds.

So what about this light rail thing?  Maybe I am living in a cocoon with my only perspective being a local public transportation system that has given me a jaded perspective.  But I don’t think I’m off by much.   Change?  My butt!  Simply a government approach to government.  TheyWDo you smell something funny?

Second, I have tried so hard to impress you. I’ve given my all on so many levels. You want a smart girl? I studied harder. But it wasn’t enough. You want a well-rounded girl? I signed up for heinous activities that I don’t even like just to try to get your attention. I figured that maybe if I put myself out there, maybe you’d take interest in me. But you’re simply stone cold. Obviously you want talent. So I have trained: dance, voice, acting class, striving to be the best because the best is all that will cut it for you. I feel like I am constantly auditioning for you. I have to be better than the next smart, pretty, talented girl who catches your eye. Night and day I ponder the endless possibilities of what you have in mind as the best. Would it be lots of good grades, several activities, boatloads of talent? Do I have to be gorgeous on top of all that? I mean, come on, let’s be realistic here. I can’t do it all! I don’t physically have enough hours in my day!

Third, being with you is like being with a brick wall. I mean, come on. You lure me in with all your positives: so-and-so loves you so much they wish they could go back and do it all over again, look at how happy blah-di-blah is now that you’ve been in their life, you can take me exotic places, get me out of the South, give me everything and make my hopes and dreams come true. That is what I see on the surface. You want me to learn everything about you, to dig and investigate, and make sure you’ll make me happy. You want me to visit (and we both know long-distance relationships hardly ever work), you want me to meet with “your people”, and even visit your website and look at all the perfect pictures of you at your very best. You expect my utmost devotion and flattery and attention. But what do I get in return? I mean you confuse me with other girls all the time. You know nothing about my personality or charms. All I get  is the occasional postcard from you bragging about the fantastic new things you’re progressing in, or the beautiful new feature you’ve had worked on, sometimes even that you are dying for me to come and giving me specific dates to conform to. You expect me to drop everything going on in my perfectly happy life and come be with you for a weekend, sometimes even making me miss school, and all for what? You drag me on, and it’s entirely possible that when all is said and done, you’ll decide that I’m simply not good enough and reject me. I will fall in love with you and then what? BAM! Like a ton of 10 pound bricks I’ll get a simple letter in the mail saying I’m not what you want. It’s entirely possible that you’ll break my heart as soon as I start to think I have a chance. And I will never know why. I’ll never know why the girl in my Math class or my best friend was better than me. You’ll never tell me. I’ll have to pick myself back up, look myself in the mirror, and tell myself that you were never what I really wanted anyway. I’ll never hear from you again. And just like that, two years of my life that I gave to you will have been ill spent. Of course, there is also the possibility that something about me will appeal to you, that I will have just that spark you’ve been yearning for and then, SUCCESS! I will get you like I’ve been plotting and scheming to for so long. I mean, sure, I’ll be stealing you from someone else, but then I guess they should have been more like me, right? What’s that old expression…”All’s fair in love and war”?

Our jury foreman was a dark-skinned  African-American man with a multi-cultural dialect.  I would describe it as a Negro, Black, African-American, Georgian dialect.   The point being, that he was elected, neither because of the color of his skin nor whatever the heck his dialect was, but because in the eyes of 11 other multi-dialect voters sitting around a table, he seemed to be a respectable guy, capable of managing a process, and articulating our decision.  In short, he was qualified. 

I don’t consider myself a particularly enlightened individual, although I have dropped a decent amount of weight over the past few years.  For a little heavy enlightenment on light skinned comments with  a light-hearted delivery,  I highly recommend Polite Society’s post,  ”Negro Dialect?”

As for Harry Reid, I can certainly forgive him for his stupid comment, and I pray for forgiveness for the river of stupidity that gushes from my mouth pretty much anytime I open it.  I can also thank him for helping Polite Society to enlighten me.  I would also be thankful if Uncle Harry’s foot in mouth disease is miraculously cured with a one way ticket back to Nevada.

As a kid, he never missed a game.  And I played sports year-round, so there were lots of games.

He made me feel like mine was “the earth and everything in it*.”  Not through amazing skill of parenting, brilliance of intellect or book learning.

 He simply showed up.  He was the guy leaning on the fence down the third base line on a hot summer’s day.  A face in the crowd on a rainy day at some leaky city gym.  A man standing in the cold on the sidelines of some Jr High gridiron two counties from home.  Brilliance in simplicity.

Along the way, I surmise, the roles got reversed.  He didn’t come to church softball games when I was 30 because he thought I needed him there, or to see great sport.  The joy he gave, became the joy he received.

Sometimes I think I am not much of a Dad, and my teenaged kids would agree.  Hopefully in time, my children will forget that.  What they remember, I hope, is that I showed up.

Let’s celebrate our Dads!

 * from Rudyard Kipling’s Poem, “If”

Being the thriftiest man on earth, from that point forward, the cassette player got exclusive use.  There was no way I was paying two hundred and fifty bones for a freaking antenna.  I would have shoved a coat hanger down the hole before paying that kind of jack.

Fast forward to today.  I casually mentioned to a friend,  while enjoying a Grande’ Pike’s Peak at Starbucks, that I had taken my wife’s car in for an oil change.  For $250 they changed the oil and thrown in for free, a transmission flush, a new cabin air filter and a new engine air filter.  They would have thrown in a power steering flush too for another $1o0+, but I politely declined their generous offer.  Steering is way over rated as far as I’m concerned.

My friend replied that I got off for cheap as he had just had the headlamp on his Scandinavian auto (no names mentioned), to the tune of $750.  We didn’t get into the details, but I was wondering if maybe they threw in a free engine with it or something.

I drive a Saturn Ion.  I had a bulb go out once, so I went to the auto parts store and bought a 2-pack (they made me buy and extra one) to the tune of three of four bucks.  I might also mention that the antenna on my Saturn is basically a rubber coated coat hanger bolted to the car.  These are the things I like about my American made car.

But there is obviously a segment of the auto market out there that likes $750 headlamps and $250 antennas.  And I imagine there is a market for $2,000 automatic locks,  $5,000 automatic doors, and $3,500 power windows.  Oh, and what about $450 gas cap covers and $200 cup holders??

American car companies need to take a page from their European and Asian counterparts who apparently hire their engineers from the companies who produce printer ink  cartridges.  Heck, American car companies could probably sell the cars for $100 and make a fortune on replacement parts.  Do that and they’ll be back in black in no time.

I need to crack the code, and since I don’t know any Navajo Code Talkers, I thought perhaps you could help.  I know LOL, using the letter “U” for “You”, and “4″ for “for” but beyond that any help you could provide with either the code or code etiquette would be helpful.

What do you think?  Is it possible to teach this old dog a new trick?  Or should I say this old bird a new tweet?  

ChiQ: haha what a lovely request. this is an easy one. i’ll give you a few easy ones:

JK: just kidding

legit: legitimately

cul8r: see you later

ttyl: talk to you later

ily: i love you

g2g: got to go

wat: what

2: to

idk: i dont know

wow…i guess i wasnt as good at this as i thought. honestly, i try to avoid “abbrevs” (abbreviations) because i want to avoid the whole valley girl syndrome haha. “idk” if any of those would actually help you in twitter because they are very conversational, however for you….older….readers they might come in handy if you have texting

1. Tiger Woods – No mountain is too high for him.  And I don’t even play golf.
2. Bill Bennett – How could you wake up in the morning and not have hope for change listening to this guy?
3. ARod – Will close the chapter on steroid use in baseball.
4. Andy Stanley & George Worth – Two Holy men.
5. Tom Price – A conservative Doctor in the Government
6. My Wife – (still has hope that I will change after all these years)
7. Every newborn baby on earth – The future
8. The first real person to invest in our company –
9. John Goodman – Fighting the Consumer Driven Health, HDHP and HSA fight every day
10. My Dad – He’s dead but his values give me hope for the rest of us.

 Who’s on your list ChiQ?

my list? well a few might be the same as yours actually.

1. YOUR DAD- like Geez said, he was an incredible man. truly truly incredible. he died when i was 3, but a kinder hearted man is rarely found. he is probably my hero.

2. MY BROTHER- gives me hope that true personality can shine through in jr. high. i look up to him so much, even though he’s 3 years younger than me. he inspires me to be my own person, not worry what others think, and love myself. for that, i owe him the world.

3. JONAS BROTHERS- my personal favorite music group. but the semi-obsession i have doesnt just stem from the fact that they have great voices, actually write their own music, and are the most talented act out there. they give me hope that young hollywood and teens everywhere can have morals and deep faith.

4. ANDY STANLEY- that guy is incredible. he is the founder of my favorite church in the world, and on Sundays he gives me hope that i can be the person i want to be, have the faith i want to have.

5. MY FRIENDS- give me hope, no make me KNOW that true, real friends actually exist in high school, not just petty cliques and social climbers

6. NATALIE PORTMAN- incredible actress, tons of money, conscerned about the environment, a giver. how cant you love her?

7. MARY JOE- runs the shelter at my church. she works her butt off and some women dont even appreciate it. someone with that big of a heart is few and far between. she inspires my service, gives me hope that people CAN, in fact, be 100% selfless

8. MY PARENTS- have so much faith in me and my abilities. they give me hope for my future, that i will make good decisions, and affect others in a positive way. they also give me hope taht true love exists

9. CHILDREN- the future. they often see more than the most educated adult.

10. MRS.DALBO- my fourth grade english teacher, who still comes to my plays, my brothers sporting events, my random recitals. she goes above and beyond the call of duty as a teacher and gives me hope that kids dont just learn grammar and math in school

Early in my life I believed that there was great scope for rational analysis to improve the workings of government and the welfare of mankind, but over time I have come to appreciate how strong is the role of the irrational in all human affairs.

Albert Gladstone Sims (1917-2002)

As a fairly conservative guy scratching my head over the recent approval in the Senate of a nearly $1 trillion spending bill, I find myself returning to the passage above.  It has helped me reconcile decisions “beyond comprehension” that have impacted both my world and the greater world around me, time and again.

Our economy has serious challenges right now and while the word “crisis” is a word I avoid like the plague (perhaps irrationally) because it carries weight of an oxen’s burden for me, for many Americans, “crisis” is absolutely appropriate.   While the solution, or solutions to our economic problems have not revealed themselves, and while we may not like what we are hearing from one side of the political spectrum or the other, it might be worth pausing for a moment and thank our founding fathers and all those men and women who have died for the right for us to make our voices heard.  Even if we do not agree.  Or we believe those voices are consumed by the irrational.     

While I am not in alignment with the current direction of political policies; the wisdom behind the quote above gives me solace.  The belief that out of chaos emerges beauty, gives me hope. 

ChiQ: i am grabbing on to your last little paragraph, Geez, because u really did lay a toughie on me and i honestly dont feel like im educated enough on the subject to really engage in clever dialogue or witty banter about it. but i do know that theres a whole lot of hope in this country right now. with the economy so sour and people losing jobs, everyone has hope for change. (which i feel has been a word i have heard more in the past year and a half than in my whole life). most people hope for the government to take a new direction or initiative…clear things up. personally, and yes, i know, i am rather naive, but hear me out….my hope is that people remember each other.

sounds simple enough, right? but its really not. i think, alot of times, people forget that they are living on this planet with billions of other people, some alike to them and some different. given our current economic standing, i feel like the population is being reminded about each other. when you have less money to spend and therefore less material distractions, i know i, for one, am reminded about the people in my life. because even if you lose everything, every car and home and purse and ipod and cell phone, you still have your family, friends, spouse, or siblings. they’re the things that will remain the same. and i hope our president and new officials will remember that their purpose is to help others. because thats what we really need now.